Growing ‘Fat-Earther’ Movement Believes Planet 2.4 Quintillion Pounds Overweight
HOUSTON—Insistent that the planet is far chubbier than scientists have let on, members of the increasingly prominent “fat-Earther” movement reportedly believe that the planet is roughly 2.4 quintillion pounds overweight, sources said Tuesday. “All these so-called ‘experts’ are full of shit—just look out your window and you’ll see the bulging rolls of planetary fat blocking out the horizon,” said Dustin Pollock, who runs a 24,000-member Facebook group dedicated to “spreading the truth about the chunkster known as Earth.” “Sure, pictures taken from space make the planet look a lot slimmer, but you’d be surprised what you can do with different...
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